We’ve all been there — so busy setting up a training run or scrutinizing the legal issues with executive orders that you’ve forgotten to buy gifts for your AI-obsessed loved ones. Never fear: Transformer’s last-minute gift guide is here to save you. And with prices ranging from $3 to $30 million, there’s something for everyone.

‘The Gaze’ T-Shirt

$150, Maison AGI

Maison AGI, a new fashion brand founded by a former OpenAI and Anthropic employee, recently launched its first products: three t-shirts, each featuring artwork by AI legend Ilya Sutskever. This one, “The Gaze”, is our favorite, though we’re also partial to the impressionistic neural network design. The shirts’ quality reportedly does not live up to the $150 price tag (it’s apparently “the ChatGPT of fashion tees”), but when you’re rocking Ilya’s art, who cares? They are, alas, currently sold out — but we’re sure you could barter for one on the streets of San Francisco.

Tiffany & Co. Paperclip Money Clip Sterling Silver

$595.00, eBay

Forget diamonds — show your AI doomer sweetie that you can’t imagine being turned into a paperclip without them by your side. AI’s gonna kill us anyway, so you might as well spend your cash while you still can! Bonus: this memento mori can hold your paper money once the digital economy collapses.

‘Season Sweater’

$34.95, ASML

996 doesn’t stop just because it’s Christmas!

12’ x 50’ Platinum Series Luxury Bunker

$300,000, Atlas

We can’t all doomsday prep like Sam Altman, but this is pretty close. This remarkably spacious bunker features two bedrooms, a full bathroom and kitchen, and a 10-foot-long escape tunnel. (The Texas flag bedding is sadly not included.) You may not be able to afford a house in San Francisco, but you might just be able to afford “America’s #1 Most Trusted Bunker Brand”!

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‘Bestie Sacks’ T-shirt

$25, Besties Apparel

As we all know, the only way to get anything done in DC these days is to be on David Sacks’ good side. What better way to signal your allegiance than a t-shirt with his face on it? It’s worth noting that the proceeds do not go into Sacks’ pockets — you wouldn’t want to run afoul of ethics guidelines.

Miiloo AI Toy

$79.99, Amazon

With AI certain to dominate your kids’ future, you may as well introduce them to the technology early. At just $80, the Chinese-manufactured Miiloo is the perfect entry point. Sure, it might occasionally insist that “Taiwan is an inalienable part of China,” or call your toddler “malicious” for comparing Xi Jinping to Winnie the Pooh — but that’s the price of progress, baby!

Knife Fight (DVD)

$3.99, eBay

A criminally underknown fact about OpenAI global affairs chief Chris Lehane is that, back in 2012, he wrote a movie. The film, in which Rob Lowe plays a political strategist questioning “whether or not to take the high road,” received scathing reviews, with NPR calling it a “black hole of disillusion and spin.” The perfect watch ahead of the midterms.

GE LM2500+G4 Aeroderivative Gas Turbine

$29,975,000, ReflowX

Does your loved one have a bunch of Blackwell GPUs burning a hole in their pocket? Do they desperately need energy to power them? Are they relatively ambivalent about lawsuits from the NAACP? Take a leaf out of Elon’s book, and buy them a 34.2 MW gas turbine — the very same model used at xAI’s Colossus plant in Memphis. (Transformer takes no legal responsibility for your use of such turbines.)

A donation to Transformer

Priceless, Tarbell Center for AI Journalism

If you like excellent AI policy coverage like this gift guide — or, perhaps, our superb actual reporting — we’d encourage you to donate to Transformer. We’ve grown a lot this year, and with your support we’ll be able to continue to cover the power and politics of transformative AI, while keeping all our work free-to-read. You can donate via our publisher, the Tarbell Center for AI Journalism; just leave a note to say you’d like your donation to go to Transformer.

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The 2025 Transformer Gift Guide